Cup Final Lost to the Kings in Six

One trip back to the Final since the last Cup. 2012, the Kings, six games. Jersey got a beatin' from a team from Hollywood and didn't even get a text the next mornin'.

Times Dead Last in Their Own Division

Dead last in the division three times. Eighth of eight in 2017, 2019 and 2020. In a division with the Islanders, kid. THE ISLANDERS.

Straight Springs Home Alone (2013 to 2017)

Five straight springs without a playoff game, 2013 to 2017. Five Aprils watchin' other people's hockey through the window like a guy outside a bar.

First-Round Quickies

Six first-round exits. Five of 'em ended four games to one. One win a series, that's not a playoff run, that's a courtesy.

Springs Off in One Ten-Year Stretch

Nine springs off in ten years, 2013 to 2022. The one year they played, Tampa took 'em in five. That's a whole decade of Netflix.

Playoff Runs, Zero Parades

Ten playoff runs since the last Cup. Ten times the season ended in a loss. That's not a pattern, kid, that's a hobby.

Springs on the Couch Since the Last Cup

Twelve springs without the playoffs since the Cup. Twelve times Devils fans checked the standings in March like a pregnancy test and got the same answer.

Teams Who Got the Cup Instead

Thirteen different franchises have won the Cup since the Devils last did. Thirteen. Tampa, Carolina, Anaheim, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Chicago, Boston, LA, Washington, St. Louis, Colorado, Vegas and Florida.

Days Since Their Last Stanley Cup

 

More than eight thousand days since June 9, 2003. The Devils last finished before the iPhone and before my first gray hair, and Jersey's been dry longer than the Pine Barrens in August.

Forty-three yeahs ago Gretzky called the Devils a Mickey Mouse operation. Got a better word?

A dark 1980s hockey bench packed with cartoon devils in red jerseys and big black Mickey Mouse ears on their helmets, a goalie with mouse ears on his mask, a cartoon Mickey Mouse glove waving from the penalty box, a leaking pipe and a single warm lamp over the bench

November 19, 1983. Edmonton 13, Jersey 4. Gretzky called it a Mickey Mouse operation and it's still the best scouting report on the club.

Participation Trophies

  • Lost the 2012 Stanley Cup Final in Six Games to the Los Angeles Kings
  • Finished Eighth of Eight in the Metropolitan Division Three Times (2016–17, 2018–19, 2019–20)
  • Missed the Playoffs Nine Times in Ten Seasons (2012–13 to 2021–22)
  • Called a "Mickey Mouse Operation" by Wayne Gretzky After a 13–4 Loss to Edmonton (November 19, 1983)
  • Lost the Only First Round They Played in That Ten-Year Stretch, 1–4 to Tampa Bay (2017–18)

Terms of Unapologetic Boston Agreement

By remaining on fuckthedevils.com, you stipulate and agree to the following binding clauses under Commonwealth of Massachusetts Maritime & Hockey Law:

  1. The Ancient History Clause: Any Stanley Cup won back when the Devils beat Anaheim in Game 7 in 2003 counts purely as historical trivia, like the last time anybody in Jersey got satisfied.
  2. The Everybody Clause: Every fan base in the league, including yours, is legally permitted to laugh at the Devils at any time and without notice.
  3. The No Crying Rule: All grievances, excuses about the Turnpike, or salary cap complaints must be directed to our official complaint department link in the footer.